How do you deal with BIG news? No I am not pregnant ;) I recently found out some information, before I probably should have, but it is not what i wanted it to be At. All. And the worst part is that I am not deal with it very well, at all. I am crying and I am fussing, and complaining and finding everything wrong with it that I can. The funny thing is that my Facebook status Yesterday was "Some days I am so, amazingly, and overwhelmingly glad that God is Sovereign and I dont have to worry what my future holds." Ya, yesterday was stressful and terrible and I tried to make the best but at the end of the day I cried and complained and learned a great lesson and went to bed feeling awesome!
And then I get this text and I fall apart:( "Why is God doing this to me?" "Doesn't he know this is the last thing I wanted?" "I thought he answered the prayers of his children?" and most of all, "How does this benefit God's kingdom?" "Why does it have to be this?" Ugh, why can't I be gracious and see the positives and actually trust that God knows what he is doing and has the best in mind? Thankfully I have some Amazing friends who helped my process and think of positives. Usually, I would just run away and pretend that life is great and not acknowledge the elephant in the room. But I can't do that any more, I have to deal with the stuff of life as an adult and I don't want to deal with stuff that I don't like! i have to process this, and I have to do it quick and positively while still functioning and being the mother that S needs me to be. But I am still bummed and feel cheated and wish that the news was something different, but I have to remember what I learned yesterday and hopefully I will start dealing with Big news better! Right now I am eating chocolate, watching silly tv shows and asking you, How do you deal with Big stuff?
I tough it out, I guess, and get busy. I mean, beyond the stress of too much to do or whatever, occasionally I get into a situation that just sits like a hole at the bottom of my stomach. Then my mind wanders for a bit and my brain asks, "what were you upset about again?" Oh yeah. Then I remember and feel sick all over again. Or wake up in the morning feeling great and then remember it and bam.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I just wait until the situation resolves. I keep myself super distracted by working harder, and eventually it goes away due to whatever. Silly TV would be a better option, but that makes me feel worse for other reasons.
All that said, I know that's not the answer. The few times I've put it in God's hands have been amazing. But most of the time I feel like that would be "using" God so I don't do it. Wrong attitude, I know.
But I never doubt God, either. Maybe nothing bad enough has happened to me and I'm naive, but I never doubt for a second that all the bad stuff is for good. I thought a LOT of bad stuff happened to me my senior year in college and for the next 5 years, but it led me to the Ruxpins, LT and Jenny - all very, VERY good!
Sorry for the random blabbering - I haven't gotten much sleep all week and my head is spinning, but I didn't see any comments and wanted to offer one. :)
Hope you're better two weeks later!
thanks!!! Sorry I did not respond sooner, but I did read your post a bit ago:) Maybe we should "use" God more?
ReplyDeleteWe SHOULD use God more. He wants us to. Do I really believe that God doesn't want to embrace me when I run to Him, even when I walk away when things are good? He probably wants to use those times to make me realize why I should stick around even in the good times. Do I think my "sin" of walking away is too much for Christ to have conquered?
ReplyDelete