My little boy is 19 months old, not yet 2 but getting close. I always thought that "Terrible Two's" was an urban legend. As S started getting a little bit older, more toddler then baby, I started seeing less and less of children his own age out in public. It seemed that I always saw babies and older kids but I could never figure out why I rarely see kids his age Sure I would see families with multiple children, and they include a 2ish kid, but you don't ever see an only child his age. WELL tonight J and I solved the mystery, those parents learned that the only way to stop the disaster that was our dinner tonight, is to not go out.
We went to a large group dinner and S melted, it was like I have yet to experience; blood, no eating, screaming, anything you can think of! As I sat there trying to quickly finish my food, i was looking around and no other children were melting. But now that I think about it all the families has multiple children or only one young baby. So I don't think that I am a terrible mother, but I have never done this before, but tonight I felt totally incompetent! Lots of things in our life have changed recently and the place we went was way more crowded then places we have gone before, and I know that all these factors contribute but Oh My Gracious!!
The hardest part I think about this is feeling helpless and the stress it places on J and I. Neither of us know what to do, how to react, or how to help S calm down. So we get stressed and frustrated and take out our crazy emotions on anyone and everyone close by.
All this to say that I sometimes wonder why I has a kid, I love S and he is apart of me that I can not live with out, but on days like today it helps me to stop and really think hard about why I spent 4 years praying for S. I can't really put it into words but the feelings are still there and I hold on to that vison and promise and love when I want to pull my hair out and throw up my hands in defeat. I sure have been doing that a lot this past month and I know, as with the previous hard times, this, too, shall pass:)