I have about 6 books I am reading right now! Every nap time and after bedtime, I spend half of my free time trying to decide what book to pick up. How does one choose between them? Should you immerse yourself in a fantasy land on this rainy Saturday afternoon or calmly learn about life as a Bendictine nun? Perhaps a history lesson is best for today, "Last Call," a book on the history of Prohibition. I have learned so much about history from this book and the PBS documentary on the same subject. What a disaster for our country and yet what an amazing opportunity to learn about the function of government in the United States, the lessons from this period of history are absolutely endless!
I ended up reading Psalm 146 and writing, if reading is number 1 then writing is number 2! I'm wondering today about life after being a stay at home mom. I have a degree in history and yet never have had a job in that field, I went to school for 4 years so that I could spend all my time reading! Now that I am an adult I am wishing I worked a little harder at making a career for myself. Reading "A Cloister Walk" is Not helping this desire. Kathleen Norris spends her time as a poet reading and writing in a convent, would that I could get paid for this, but I have not honed my writing skills. Hopefully the saying "Never to late to start..." goes for starting a career after 30 with no experience.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Life
Today I am thinking about the chosen path for my life right now, I have chosen to be a stay at home mom and house wife, and I will probably follow this path for the next 10-15 years. Now I know in the grand scale of life that really is not a long time but from where I am sitting it feels like an eternity! I went to college and I have a degree but I did not do anything with it until after school and it is less then useful with out a nice resume behind it.
I struggle with being a stay at home mom sometimes because this is not where I saw myself as I was growing up, that said, I do actually love being home!! But what I am going to do when all of my kids (if I have more) are in school? Well, start over and try and find a career that I can start later in life or stay a house wife and volunteer, and I suppose I could just run our home and knit and read all day when I am not baking and cleaning. So many choices and right now I want the easy road.
My husband just graduated a program that took him 2 years and more hardship then I can barely believe, but he now has an epic career and I am so proud of him!! He did not take the easy road, by any stretch of the imagination, what he accomplished very few people ever even attempt. I struggle with the motivation that he has! I tend to want the easy answer and can not focus and do that hard work to achieve that goal I want, I usually give up after a small amount of time and go on to the next thing. I can learn so much for him.
Right now I don't even know what my goal is!! It is hard for me to sit down and work hard when I am not even sure what the end will look like, so I come up with fantastical plans of what I could do, never follow through and just sit and wait for something amazing to fall in my lap. This all sounds silly after realizing that I had to live with my husband while he was working for his goal.
So, how did you pick your career? Or, like me, are you still dreaming about what you will do when you grow up, all the while your life is not standing still?
I struggle with being a stay at home mom sometimes because this is not where I saw myself as I was growing up, that said, I do actually love being home!! But what I am going to do when all of my kids (if I have more) are in school? Well, start over and try and find a career that I can start later in life or stay a house wife and volunteer, and I suppose I could just run our home and knit and read all day when I am not baking and cleaning. So many choices and right now I want the easy road.
My husband just graduated a program that took him 2 years and more hardship then I can barely believe, but he now has an epic career and I am so proud of him!! He did not take the easy road, by any stretch of the imagination, what he accomplished very few people ever even attempt. I struggle with the motivation that he has! I tend to want the easy answer and can not focus and do that hard work to achieve that goal I want, I usually give up after a small amount of time and go on to the next thing. I can learn so much for him.
Right now I don't even know what my goal is!! It is hard for me to sit down and work hard when I am not even sure what the end will look like, so I come up with fantastical plans of what I could do, never follow through and just sit and wait for something amazing to fall in my lap. This all sounds silly after realizing that I had to live with my husband while he was working for his goal.
So, how did you pick your career? Or, like me, are you still dreaming about what you will do when you grow up, all the while your life is not standing still?
Sunday, November 4, 2012
God is real, and He has feelings
Last night I started reading Disappointment with God, by Philip Yancey, mostly because I am struggling with that very thing. Yancey has written several books and I respect his thought process because he seems to think like a normal person and not a super-spiritual-know-all-the-answers person.
I learned that God is a real being and He has real feelings!!
This insight is causing reverberations in my soul that will continue for months! Do you get that? I mean do you really understand the implications of the Fact that God is real and he has feelings? I don't think I am even close to grasping what this actually means but the knowledge is seeping into every corner of my life and I am trying to soak it all up!! I tried to explain to my husband what I have been dealing with, but Yancey describes it best when he says (paraphrased) 'that I had an expectation when I went into this relationship with God and his actions are not what I expected', hence the disappointment.
Surprise!!! the answers to all my questions are in... The Bible!!! Who knew?!
In the 13 chapters I read last night, Yancey summarized the entire old Testament. It was amazing to read versus that actually describe God's feelings and his mercy and his actions from a person who has dealt with disappointment.
I am still disappointed but I think the direction of those feelings are shifting away from a God who actually loves and cares about me, to focus on the earthly circumstances that just are. Today I am choosing to believe that it is ok to be disappointed with the situation but I am learning that life got me here and not God, and He will help things turn around.
"In all their distress he too was distressed" Isaiah 63:9
P.S. Did you know that God tells us to test him and see if he will follow through with his promise? Malachi 3:10 says that if you tithe, God promises to bless you, and then he says "Test me in this" I am chewing on this because I have asked for a 'sign' and here is a very big promise. What do you think? Do you tithe?
I learned that God is a real being and He has real feelings!!
This insight is causing reverberations in my soul that will continue for months! Do you get that? I mean do you really understand the implications of the Fact that God is real and he has feelings? I don't think I am even close to grasping what this actually means but the knowledge is seeping into every corner of my life and I am trying to soak it all up!! I tried to explain to my husband what I have been dealing with, but Yancey describes it best when he says (paraphrased) 'that I had an expectation when I went into this relationship with God and his actions are not what I expected', hence the disappointment.
Surprise!!! the answers to all my questions are in... The Bible!!! Who knew?!
In the 13 chapters I read last night, Yancey summarized the entire old Testament. It was amazing to read versus that actually describe God's feelings and his mercy and his actions from a person who has dealt with disappointment.
I am still disappointed but I think the direction of those feelings are shifting away from a God who actually loves and cares about me, to focus on the earthly circumstances that just are. Today I am choosing to believe that it is ok to be disappointed with the situation but I am learning that life got me here and not God, and He will help things turn around.
"In all their distress he too was distressed" Isaiah 63:9
P.S. Did you know that God tells us to test him and see if he will follow through with his promise? Malachi 3:10 says that if you tithe, God promises to bless you, and then he says "Test me in this" I am chewing on this because I have asked for a 'sign' and here is a very big promise. What do you think? Do you tithe?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)